You are nearing the end of your 8-12 hour shift. Now, you’re most likely only getting compensated for the 8 hours so anything you did extra, well that’s just “apart of the job.” You are not only physically or mentally tired; you’re also emotionally tired. All day you had to maintain your composure while attending to others’ emotional, physical, psychological, and/or intellectual needs. You had to be the anchor that they needed to ensure them that, they were safe and okay. You also work very hard on instilling hope, knowledge, and resources in them in order to provide them a fighting chance to do this on their own, and you pray that they do not find themselves in this situation again. However, you also reassure them that you will be there if they do. During your day you might find yourself getting yelled at, disrespected, dismissed, and/or blamed by the people that you are trying to help. Many times these people undervalue the services you offer them. However, not all of them do. Actually many of them appreciate all that you do, and become better people because of the impact you made in their lives. You get to witness, with your own eyes, the impact and growth these people experience, which is partly due to your dedication, efforts, and consistency to provide the utmost care to some of the most vulnerable populations.
If this above scenario sounds familiar, you are most likely in a helping profession which is defined as “A profession that nurtures the growth of or addresses the problems of a person's physical, psychological, intellectual, emotional or spiritual well-being, including medicine, nursing, psychotherapy, psychological counseling, social work, education, life coaching and ministry” (YourDictionary.com).
I will often tell people that being a helping professional is not for the faint of hearts because it requires the person to have a heart filled with an endless amount of empathy & compassion towards complete strangers. We are in a unique spot where we help others while they are usually at their most vulnerable. Our job description entails words such as: saving, protecting, guiding, supporting, teaching, advocating, and/or healing. Also, you must do this everyday with every single one of your patients/clients/students. That is a lot of responsibility to place on a person, on a daily basis. It can become tiring and waring, which is why burn out is a real thing in the helping professions. We will often preach to those we are helping the importance of self-care and the value of attending to their emotional, physical, and/or spiritual needs. Yet, so many of us struggle with doing this for ourselves.
Unfortunately, one of the unspoken and very dangerous common practices, beliefs, and expectation of being in the helping profession is that, we must place the needs’ of others before our own. That, by doing this, it demonstrates how much we care, how devoted we are towards the profession, and to those we are helping. Although this is an admirable approach, it is impossible to sustain long term. I have known too many wonderful people who followed this approach in the beginning of their careers and they quickly learned that this began to eat away at their own mental, emotional, and physical health. In some cases, it even created these once caring people to become jaded and resentful towards the people they were serving, which can be very dangerous for everyone. Also, this perspective of placing the needs of others before our own, only works if you are actively and intentionally making efforts to address your own needs immediately after helping others. Otherwise, you are emptying your tank without ever filling it back up. Eventually, you start running on fumes and if you keep going your car stops working and can result in serious damage. In this analogy you are the car and the fuel is self-care. Here’s the thing, we all know this. Every single one of us in helping professions, KNOWS this. Yet, we struggle with reaching out for help and taking care of ourselves.
In my opinion, the fact that most of us have this knowledge and insight and yet still find ourselves “failing” in the department of self-care, makes it 10x more difficult to reach out for help. Whether it is embarrassment, shame, denial, pride, or all of the above it doesn’t change the fact that, helpers NEED help too. This doesn’t mean we are incapable of helping others. Actually, I believe the opposite is true, I think this makes us more capable to help others because we can connect with those we are helping, we can genuinely say “we understand” because we have experienced it first hand. Getting help simply confirms that you are HUMAN. Regardless of the amount of training, education, or experience you have had we all need support along the way of this, crazy & amazing experience, we all call, LIFE. Cause let’s be honest, it can be really shitty sometimes, especially when you are trying to balance your personal life struggles while having a profession that can easily take up a lot of your patience and energy. It is also a profession that is not often appreciated and valued by our society, which is evident in how we are compensated. We hold some of the most important jobs: protecting people, educating the future generations, saving lives, healing people from their traumas, advocating for our most vulnerable populations, and supporting those who are in need of help. Yet many teachers, first responders, therapists, healers, social workers, police officers, firefighters, and caretakers are some of the lowest paying professions and are usually the first ones to lose funding or get budget cuts.
However, those of you who are in the helping profession are obviously not in it for the money. For many of you this is your purpose, your contribution to the world, and although the pay isn’t great, and you are likely to have more tough days than easy days, it is ALL worth it. Why? Because saving a life, witnessing people heal from their pain, seeing the seed you plant in young minds begin to bloom into something beautiful, building indescribable deep connections, and supporting someone as they expand and evolve into their best self goes beyond monetary gain, it is a rewarding experience that feeds our soul and is the purest act of humanity.
In essence: We need you. In order for you to continue to do the amazing work that you do, you must prioritize your own needs and give yourself the same empathy, compassion, and support that you give to those you serve, which means you might have to reach out for support from another helping professional, and that is completely okay.
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